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welcome to Neil Brian's alternative blog. where you'll read the part of me that feels and thinks + live and breathe

your indifference so innocuous; useless and meaningless

i am the one and only neil brian.
full name neil brian narido labayna born in the philipines came to singapore turning 14 in 2009.
studying in aiss.
studied in andps.

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Romeo or Hamlet. Death claims both feeling or thinking men.

life's been filled of going in and out of the house, to sch, and to other schools, and back home again.











9

"You're a fool," I told him "Why set yourself up to a relationship which you were confused in right from the start?"

He said that love's like that, its a joke you cannot seem to laughing and smiling at, like a fool.





do you know how it feels, to feel so stressed, as though something is squeezing you and pulling you apart. and you feel like crying, yet you feel like laughing because you feel so mad...





19 days has gone for this year.
19 days, wow...

19 days of waking up to a day of routine.
19 days of sleeping down from a day that makes me weary.
19 days of sitting on my chair.
19 days of listening blabber
19 days of sitting in the room, looking aimlessly around.
19 days heading aimlessly down corridors.
19 days of near-headaches.
19 days of near-stress.
19 days of near-depressions.
19 days of boredom.
19 days gone.

Many, Many, Many, More Days To Go.

1

"Fine then, anything that'll make you happy."

"I'm not happy."

"Why?"

"I'm not happy with you, because of you."

"So? What are you gonna do about it. Are you going to change me?"

"Yes, I will if I can."

"The problem is, you can't. Fool, you can't change someone they way you want them to be. The easiest thing you can do, is to yourself."

when people do stuff that don't go your way, things you'll never expect.
you can't change them and their actions.
the easiest, and simplest, thing to do, is to yourself and adapt to it.
get over it.

you've got 6 million people out here on Earth, something has to go wrong.





It saddens me that despite the best efforts of others to instruct and better you, some of you insist on finding new ways to fail.

We have sounded the alert and in on the way of releasing a quick fix for an exploit that some unscrupulous idiots were using to wield power within the group. I have considered an appropriate punishment for the good-for-nothings responsible for this horrendous breach of conduct and trust. Humiliation, of course - but humiliation is too good for disappointments such as these. Instead, their reputation have been removed for a month, and may be subject to further extension.

To the majority of you who did not see fit to deceive me or others, you have my congratulations: I await the countless other ways you will inevitably disappoint me in the future.

Yours,
The Oversight





i am dissapoint.

(9:49 PM) {brian}: i cannot understand how student study hardcore

(9:49 PM) ChongSoon: perfect example is just right infront of me.

(9:50 PM) {brian}: me?
no

(9:50 PM) ChongSoon: you have no idea how the hell did you ignore us and go study yourself like some mad kid.
(9:50 PM) ChongSoon: for sa2 la that is.

(9:50 PM) {brian}: that was when i needed to study

(9:50 PM) ChongSoon: yeh.

(9:51 PM) {brian}: a smart student studies when he needs to, revises and understands some when he can,

(9:51 PM) ChongSoon: am i a smart student like you?

(9:51 PM) {brian}: idk
(9:51 PM) {brian}: the sch expects hardcore students, every sch does...

(9:52 PM) ChongSoon: o-o

(9:52 PM) {brian}: the ideal student is someone who works hard for his/her future, with working a priority over his lifestyle.
that's just fked up

(9:53 PM) ChongSoon: our school is fked up
organzier also need care lols

(9:53 PM) {brian}: that one i can do.

(9:53 PM) ChongSoon: i everyday tell my form teacher
cher i change something can ar?
then ok
then next day
i change the format to other format
(9:54 PM) ChongSoon: i think by the end of this month..
the default format gone for me liao

(9:54 PM) {brian}: lol
sigh

(9:54 PM) ChongSoon: “Get over the idea that only children should spend their time in study. Be a student so long as you still have something to learn, and this will mean all your life.”

(9:55 PM) {brian}:
i always imagined myself to travel the world, maybe across europe, and be a learner too.
and a 'learner', meaning, someone who experiences the time he has and understands it.
instead of this random, jumble of facts and questions and answers.
tell me honestly
is your ideal future shaped by the 7 subjects you take?
are you telling me, that most probably you'll be an engineer, and thank schooling for teaching you mathematics.
however, you feel useless knowing unwanted information of geography and shit?
god, the world's doesn't make sense.

i sat in the bus stop, with a head aching so hard, with a weary heart so heavy .





"i don't know what resolutions i have. haha."





i'm of no right to say anything much about the class yet, it's been only 2 days.

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